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Dietitian diaries : thinness is not the ultimate success




Dietitian Diaries #1


Dear Diary

 

It has been a while since I last wrote, thank you for your patience; mothering a new baby, a wild toddler and willful teenager has swept me off my feet in ways of utter awe, complete exhaustion and pretty much everything in between.  

On the first of January, just after the clock turned midnight, I became a mummy for the third time. My first daughter, Luna Joy, was born underneath the Christmas tree. Since then, I have lent into the sweet softness and monotony of motherhood. I have found it more enjoyable when I jump in with both feet. 

 

I have learnt a lot being immersed in this space, settling into the ache of non-doing and being pretty much everything to tiny humans; but I think mostly that simplicity wins, softness wins, surrendering to what is wins. So it makes sense that my diary is going to keep in alignment with that, simple advice, soft words and shared surrender. 

 

My ultimate passion lies with wanting others to feel like they deserve to be nurtured, to know how to do that and then to do it. When we are nurtured we are able to move from a place of love, not fear; and those ripples can change our world. 

 

A little more nervous system regulation and a little less nutrient depletion can change us, change the way we parent and heal the next generation. 

 

I didn’t mean to get this deep so fast, I feel like each time I experience new motherhood a layer is stripped from me, a defence left behind in the exhausted nights, to reveal a deeper vulnerability, a softness, a nakedness, a more human version of me. She invites me to reflect upon my deepest desires versus the desires society pushed on to me that I thought were mine to carry. 

 

Just like in my teenage years, they were tainted with this yearning to be thin.  

I learnt that thinness equated to success. 

I both looked up to and was jealous of thin women. 

 I thought if I could just be really thin I would be really successful. 

 I believed that thinness was the ultimate success.

 

 So I got thin, although at times I felt like I had won, I didn’t feel successful, in fact I felt the opposite.

 

So I changed the goalpost and thought lean was successful.  

I both looked up to and was jealous of lean women. 

Looking back, my decision to go on stage in a bikini in 2013 and compete in “bodybuilding” in the name of sport/passion, was a decision led by and compounded by the beliefs that “other women are my competition" and “I am my body.” All those years ago I genuinely believed that my entire identity was based around my body. 

 

And today, as I write this,my baby daughter wrapped around my soft belly, snoozing, and my son pretending to be bird jumping off the sofa edge  “ doing dangerous things carefully”  I know deep in my heart, the way my body looks is the last thing I want to be known for; and the way other people’s bodies look is the least interesting, least inspiring thing about them. 

 

I would have lost so much joy from these beautifully mundane moments if I was worried about thinness. 

 

Decades ago I used to look up to thin women, lean women.

 

Now I look up to content women, women at ease, women following their hearts, women loving their families, women nurturing  their communities, women making an impact behind the scenes. These are the women I am inspired by.  

The friend that realised her dream of being a yoga teacher after having her baby and followed her heart. She inspires me.

 

The woman that volunteers to run the toddler group we go to each week, with strong coffee and biscuits in hand. She inspires me.

 

The neighbour that took her son out of school because he was getting bullied. She inspires me. 

 

The client who shows up week and week, taking terrified steps and courageous action. She inspires me.

 

The family member who left a managerial corporate role for a slower, softer way of living. She inspires me.

 

The friend of a friend that left an abusive relationship because she wanted safety for herself and her children. She inspires me.

 

Society lied to us when it told us that being thin is the ultimate success for a woman. 

 

Be well nurtured, 

Love Rachel 



 

Daily paper

 

Every day (that I have capacity) I read a nutrition, eating or health focused research paper, here are the takeaways from this week; a little science for soul.

 

1: The way the body responds to stress is altered in individuals with bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder; thus learning about the nervous system regulation within recovery is a crucial part of healing. Link

 

2: Reproductive hormones impact and reinforce eating / purging behaviours; and eating / purging behaviours impact and reinforce alterations in reproductive hormones. Healing eating disorders won't always feel this hard, it is not about willpower. Link

 

3: Nutrition deficiencies can present as anxiety / depression leading to misdiagnosis. Restrictive diets increase the risk of dietary deficiencies. Link

 

 4: Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer by 4.7% per year of breastfeeding. Link


Small act of nurturance *

 

A little more nervous system regulation and a little less nutrient depletion can change us, change the way we parent and heal the next generation. 

 

In the winter months supplement with 400IU vitamin D daily. Ideally try and obtain bloodwork to see if you need to supplement with a higher amount. Deficiency symptoms include fatigue, poor sleep, aches and pains and low mood. When supplementing with vitamin D, especially if high levels are needed, then it is likely that a magnesium supplement is also required.

 

 *Generalised advise and not a personal prescription, please seek support from a dietitian or clinician for individual support and guidance.

 

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